Nothing like the untimely death of a much loved colleague to think about your own possible end. He was fit, 50 and an all round lovely guy. All those trite things you trot out – kind, generous, etc? All true. I know it is a redundant question but why him? Why the nice one with the gorgeous family? I fear being struck down myself, but boy do I know some oxygen thieves who would make great minions for Satan instead……
His funeral was really lovely, considering the circumstances. However, Perth really does need a MUCH bigger non-denominational venue for funerals. When a teacher goes, unless they are one of the aforementioned Devil’s future butt-buddies, the place will be jam-packed. And it was.It got me thinking about my own end of life celebration. So here are my requests:
- Make sure it is somewhere that everyone can get a good view/seat. Nothing worse than having to have a quiet sniffle standing up.
- No black, unless it has sequins. Go all out and frock up a bit. Don’t insult me with your ‘I just nicked over during work’ wear. Use it as an excuse to buy a hat.
- Those who can afford it or are so inclined – feel free to turn up in a limo, complete with champagne. Most of you have been married and are way past your school ball – grab the opportunity.
- If someone I know can manage to conduct the proceedings, that would be awesome. It really grates on me to hear total strangers spout platitudes about someone they didn’t know. It just seems so…insulting.
- A song played by one Jasmine Riley. You can choose Snazz, preferably an original of yours.
- A NKOTB song, possibly ‘If You Go Away’. Sue me – I chose that one when I was 16.
- If someone does a completely rockin’ eulogy, feel free to clap. Gotta give props to those who get up there and give it bash. In fact I insist you all clap.
- Don’t worry about flowers. Buy a book and read it for me instead.
I don’t think that sounds entirely unreasonable, do you? So. Do YOU have any particular requests for that day that will inevitably come, but hopefully not too soon?