Monthly Archive for September, 2008

The Children Are Our Future

Published on September 30, 2008 in Teaching. 0 Comments

Things overheard and conversations I had in half an hour of lunch duty:

      ‘Miss, why aren’t you our tutorial teacher anymore? Mr X is alright but we have him and someone else and she is old and has no fashion sense and a toe missing on her right foot. And you were young and pretty and had fashion sense and have all your toes.’

      ‘Miss, where’s my ice-cream?’ asks Bob. I shrug my shoulders, in an I-don’t-know gesture, while stuffing my face. ‘F#*k you Miss!’ says Bob,hiding quickly behind a brick wall.

 After giving Bill a dirty look cos he was walking around with his hand down his pants, he tells me by way of explanation: ‘Miss – my balls were stuck to my leg!’

Random girl to random boy in corridor: ‘Tim, when you pushed me you touched my boob you retard.’

 Yup. All in a days work.

 

Grumpy Young Honeymooner

Published on September 29, 2008 in Married Life. 0 Comments

The following emails were sent to my sis and pals whilst we were honeymooning in Europe. Abbreviations and spelling errors have been left in for authenticity…and cos it is a public holiday and I can’t be arsed editing.

Heya Sis,

How r u? We r gr8. I am emailing from Beloved’s  blackberry. We r in Holland at moment and just went to this huge, beautiful garden with heaps of tulips – kicks Araluen’s arse!

Yesterday we were in Brussels. Sooo beautiful. And omg – the shopping. U and Stinky would love it!

London was gr8 too. Very busy but heaps of shops and pubs and historical stuff. We caught up w Chris and his new girl Nikki who is lovely. They took us to a comedy show which was so cool – it was in part of a tunnel which was converted into a nite-club.

N e hoo, better go. U can email me on this address if u like – and fwd it onto the girls – they can Bee-mail me too- it will be free for me to reply cos Beloved’s work is paying his fone bill but be warned the nosey bugger will prob read it b4 I do (luv u husband!)

Lotsa luv 2 all,

Bee and Beloved xoxo

Switzerland

Hi everyone!

We r in Heidi country at the moment – the Swiss alps. It us like nothing I have ever seen . . . Except in Heidi ;) huge mountains covered in snow. Our hotel was built in 1901 and is very charming. We r in it 4 two nights.

Yesterday was awesome – in Germany us deprived Aussies finally saw snow. At a hotel in the mountains called Hofgut Sternen it was lightly falling. It wasn’t too cold and it feels like when u scrape ice off the freezer!

Ooh, gotta go – going on cable car

Mwah to all

Bee and Beloved xo

 Austria Today

 Heya everyone!

Lots of excitement yesterday. We went up a mountain called the Stanserhorn via cable car which was bloody scary. We went through clouds to get to the top to a glorious blue sky and warm sun and mountains. Waaaay down below u could see tiny houses. At the top was a restaurant and viewing platforms all around. There was also a huge pile of snow which had been gathered up so it wasn’t blocking the paths. So a few of us had to stand on it. In the photos it looks like we r standing on a mountain 4 real. . . Other than the fact that we actually were but u no wat I mean!

We went into Lucerne (or Luzern) which is a small city on Lake Luzern. We had lunch at a Swiss restaurant. They played traditional ‘instruments’ such as a broomstick, cowbells, a saw, and bottles. They even got ppl on stage to blow these huge horns. I got picked but wussed out. It was only a coincidence that Beloved went to the loo when they started picking ppl out to yodel. It could have been the two 7 franc (bout ten buck) pepsis he had with our lunch of cheese fondue and bratwurst.

We had a cruise on the lake which was great. It was up to 130 metres deep in places.

That nite we were in bed by 8:30 after all the fresh mountain air.

Today we r in Austria, where we are going on a carriage ride. I am emailing while we go thru a very long tunnel on the bus.

Bee mail again soon,

Bee and Beloved

 Italy

 Heya everyone!

We r leaving Venice today. It was pretty cool. When we first got there it just rained and rained so we just got an overall feeling of dampness. But I did have a look in the Gucci, Prada, Valentino, Ferragamo etc windows. Too chickenshit and touristy/bedraggled looking to go in.

For lunch we went to a gorgeous island called Burano which has all these brightly painted houses. I kept taking pics of the pink ones for Stinky! We also had a yum seafood lunch there.

We went back to the main island for a gondola ride. That was awesome. Beloved and I went on one with another couple. All of us got a bottle of champagne but our boat also got an accordion player and a singer! It was so cool and every time we went under a bridge there would be heaps of people taking pictures and videoing it. We felt famous. And luckily by then it had stopped raining.

Today we r heading to Assisi. I have been a liiiitle bit sick, just a cold. And omg, u should see this traffic we r in. Italians r freaking crazy drivers. They turn 3 lane hwys into 6 and will squeeze through anywhere!

Will bee-mail again soon.

Bee and Beloved xoxxo

Ps: there r so many sausage dogs in Europe. Beloved said I can maybe get one, so can someone google poodle daschund cross so I can get a jump on my research, lol? Hmm would that be called a daschoodle? ;) his name will be Chip. . . Short for Chipolata.

Leaving Rome

 Hi everyone!

Well, we r leaving Rome today. It was different. So much culture and history but also very bloody filthy! I mean Perth may be a culturally shallow backwater but it is a clean one and we don’t drive like maniacs! We did the Vatican City, colosseum, pantheon and some catacombs. Again, all Italians r so well dressed.

A couple of days b4 we went to the island of Capri which was lovely. A few times I thought I might die though. They have one lane roads up the sides of these sheer cliffs and the bus drivers don’t drive slowly. It has lovely winding streets with little gorgeous houses, shops and restaurants and it looks all tropical-ish or rather more mediterranean-ish with bright flowers and foliage everywhere. It would be a great place for a few days relaxation. (Especially with all the couture shops) When there we went to the top of the highest point on a chair lift and we actually went through clouds – they were cold!

Today we r heading to Florence for one night and then we will be heading to France. Can u believe I haven’t bought n e thing yet except lil gifts for the family? Crazy!

Beloved’s back has mostly been ok. He did have a couple of bad hobbly days and knock on wood he hasn’t been sick . . . ironically it is my turn to be sick – just coughing up a lung or two :(

Man these Italian roads r bumpy. We have also had lots of good wines and pasta so don’t be surprised if I am a bit poombah-ish when we get back ;)

Lotsa luv,

Bee and Beloved xo

 Nice is Nice

Hi everyone!

Hope u are all doing well.

We r on our way to Paris today to see the Eiffel tower and go to a show at the Moulin Rouge. Beloved is pleased to be in France. A much higher percentage of good looking girls he reckons.

Last nite we were in a town called Beaune which is in the wine making region so we had a gr8 bottle of red with dinner.

The 2 nights before that we were in Nice which I really liked. I went ‘posh shopping’ but disappointingly didn’t find n e thing that really tickled me. Although earlier in the day we went to a hilltop village called St Paul du Vance where I managed to harass a westie tied up at the front of an art shop. Got the pics too. Beloved also bought me a bunch of 20 pink roses which gave him mega brownie points with all the ladies on the bus (and me too!) And probably the housekeeper at the hotel where we left em. On the last night there a few of us went up to the sundeck of the hotel to look at the view and have red wine and pizza – best pizza we had was in France.

And it goes with out saying that as well as documenting the dogs of Europe I am also paying close attention to the ice-cream. Went to the supposedly best gelato shop in Italy which was in Florence. Not bad. But to me it is all good!

It has been a great trip and I can’t believe it is nearly over. We have made some cool friends. Supposedly we r gonna visit all of them :)

N e hoo. Would love to hear from u on Beloved’s email address. We will back on May 11. I hope we can handle the reality

Bee and Beloved xo

 

6 Months On: Day One of Wedded Bliss

Published on September 28, 2008 in Married Life. 2 Comments

I don’t wanna spoil anyone’s illusions nor admit to being a statistic, but by the time we got back to our hotel room I felt absolutely rat-chewed. I was so tired I could have thrown up, my head was gonna fall off, my feet hated me and boy, did I need to wee. Beloved got me out of the dress pretty damn fast – not out of lust but so I didn’t soil the carpet of the fancy hotel room. I had the nicest, longest shower and fell into bed, head whirling with so many lovely memories, body numb with tiredness. I felt a lot better in the morning but you don’t need any of those details.

The day was suitably lazy, with room service and lots of naps. We were on the top floor of the hotel which had views to Kings Park. While gazing off the balcony I saw my car reflected in the building next door. I also saw that it had been festooned with streamers – the handy work of two of the groomsmen, the lil buggers.

We even got a free massage….which was nice, but I hate being a novice of posh hotels and shit, especially when it involves you getting half naked in front of a stranger.

Leaving the hotel was quite amusing, at our late check-out of 4pm. It was funny enough seeing the Sven-like doorman pulling up at the front of our hotel in my lil red beast, but was even funnier with the streamers trailing out behind. When he opened the doors all these balloons and confetti fell out and I found Passion Pop, condoms, a pregnancy-test, massage oil and a glow-in-the-dark tube of lube thoughtfully placed on the passenger seat. So we are all chasing balloons at the front of the hotel, not wanting them to ruin the ambiance and while I lent on the bonnet to pull the streamers off the windscreen wipers we quickly found that Sven has not put on the hand-brake.

We had such a magical, surreal 2 days but it was sorta nice to be going home, to our doggy and a lot less excitement. We came home to our whole-bum-waggling Airedale and a mother-in-law who can’t not hum, sing, whistle or talk, lotsa envelopes full of Flight Centre vouchers, more than half a wedding cake and flowers everywhere.

To everyone involved as family, friends and bridal party – we had the best time ever and it was all because of you, so, thanks! I will let you know when the novelty of calling each other ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ wears off. Although I could guess that could happen sometime on the 4 week honeymoon when we spend 24/7 together, touring Europe. Oh, think of the name-calling domestics we could have and the posts I may get out of it!!

 

6 Months On: The Shin-Dig

Published on September 27, 2008 in Married Life. 2 Comments

AKA: We SO Played ‘Ice Ice Baby’

Smiling hurts. Not until you do it for a few hours straight do you realise this. And by the time we had some gorgeous photos at Araluen and King Street in Perth I was over smiling. I was a bit perturbed at some pics I KNEW would be awful cos I was slouching in them until Miss Model told me to straighten up and I was spewing cos I had kept telling myself to stand up straight and after she said it I saw myself in a window reflection and was all ‘Argh- Princess Tubbyguts!’ and you’d think the photographer would have told me to suck it in. By then my dress was bloody filthy and a fierce headache was approaching. I was happy to note that my dress was nicer than another bride who happened along King Street for some photos. We also bumped into a lady from my work which was a bit random.

At the hotel Stinky and NC got busted for dress-treading. I think my lil sis was rather pleased with herself because she hadn’t done it and she is always getting in trouble for despoiling my tablecloths and leaving toothpaste in my bathroom sink. Although, she did get a bit growled at because she forgot how to bustle the bloody dress; but by then I had ripped a huuuuge whole in the tulle, lost a significant amount of beads and popped some stitches so I was all ‘meh’.

The reception was bloody lovely. A warm Perth night on the Swan River, with the restaurant open to the balmy winds. The sun was setting, the birds of Kings Park carrying on behind us and the lights of the city sky-line -twinkling. It was perfect.

The food was delicious and I was determined to eat as much as possible. My head was pounding and I could hardly sit down but I could have eaten the crotch of a low-flying duck. Speaking of crotches/crutches – my  broken legged cuz was doing an awesome job of MC, with his attention grabber being ‘Look at my crutch’.

I thought everyone gave amazing, heartfelt speeches. However I felt a bit shy that I had an over-representation which may have come across as a bit indulgent. I managed to keep it together through most speeches. I was a bit teary through laughing at my sisters….and then when I looked over at Stinky who was having a good ole sob-fest, I  lost it too. I was blown away with her speech.  It was fantastic and I couldn’t have been prouder of my lil sis. Now the pressure is on for me at her wedding, dammit. My husband didn’t do a bad job of his speech either, having written his the night before, the cheeky bugger.

I tried to mingle with a few people but it was impossible to get to them all. I did make an effort to talk to my ex work-colleague. He turned up all by himself, not knowing a soul and I reckon that takes real guts.  

By nine o’clock I seriously could have gone home. I was that tired and my head was killing me. I was annoyed at this feeling cos this was one of the most important, long-awaited days of my life! But after the bridal waltz I was feeling a bit better. (I might have even closed my eyes and had a mini-nap during!)

We had planned to play a few games but time had flown by so we didn’t get the chance. I was quite happy to keep my garter concealed, and only had to throw the bouquet, which my pal from Hip-hop caught. She was so excited: ‘This is the first wedding I have been to without my parents and they haven’t had to tell me to shut up and oh-my-god I caught the flowers- yay!’

 Just before we left I found out that Beloved’s cousins had been propositioning my cousins, as well as a couple of the single groomsmen (in front of my DAD I might add!) I also found out from the ex: ‘Now, Bee, I will tell you before you hear it from someone else. I did try to steal the sword off the wall. But the best man caught me and he is very, very angry. I don’t think he believed my sword swallowing routine excuse. But it is okay – I put it back.’ 

 I reckon Beloved and I made the best exit ever. The DJ was a man after my heart – at the noise-restricted time of 12am he got everyone to make a Guard of Honour and we were through it and outta there (after stopping to kiss various parents) and straight into the waiting limo taxi, where the driver welcomed us with a polite ‘Your taxi, Mr and Mrs Beloved.’

I had the most wonderful day – it went off without a hitch, because of my super-organised husband, my sexy bee-maids and the handsome groomsmen. And while the reality was beautiful I think it is going to be even better in the remembering.

 

6 Months On: The Deed

Published on September 24, 2008 in Married Life. 0 Comments

I would say we were fairly on-time, in that we were aiming for 15 minutes late. Except we got a call saying that various boom-gates had been blocked and many of the guests hadn’t arrived and could we slow it down a bit? That stressed me out cos we had a fairly tight schedule already. This was because with a 45 minute drive from the ceremony at Araluen to Perth we would not have a lot of time for photos.

On the drive up I realised something about myself that I had not previously known. When I am nervous, I want to be quiet. I don’t want to talk or be talked to. Of course no-one else knows that so they were probably miffed at some very terse replies. It is weird though, because I didn’t feel particularly nervous. I have felt way worse when going for a job-interview or even starting Boot Camp.

When we pulled up 45 minutes late, my Aunty was waiting with the video camera, telling us that my cousin (who broke his leg at Beloved’s bucks night) had already fallen over, the poor bugger. As we made our way to our starting off point, I admit I spoilt the serenity of the moment by growling at an unsuspecting Bee-maid who accidentally trod on my train. I have now decided it is good luck to have your dress stepped on because, man, I am now one lucky chick. Up on the hill above the grassed amphitheatre we could see everyone waiting, and how beautiful everything looked. In front of the lake, sparkling gold, there was a small white-swathed marquee, under which was a white carpet lined with white chairs. Behind the lake was the stone colonnade and the Roleystone hills. The sky was deep blue, there was enough wind to keep us cool as NC lead us down the gently-ish sloping path and the string quartet started playing ‘The Prayer’.

It is only now that I can truly feel what a lovely moment that split second  before my father and I made our way to different surnames was. As we walked he was counting in his head fast to stop himself from tearing up and I was smiling and having a giggle as my train picked up random sticks and leaves along the path. I glanced at as many faces I could, I was so happy to see every face – each random relative and not oft seen family friend.

 It was difficult not to cry as I faced my Beloved under the altar. He looked so happy and shiny-eyed himself and I couldn’t help giving him a little kiss before it all began. Although with his little mafia scarf on I did wonder if had somehow converted to Judaism.

The ceremony was a blur. I can remember Beloved’s warm hands, the wind rearranging my fringe and me trying so hard not to look like I was obsessively compulsively tucking it back. There was Beloved’s second cousin looking decidedly grumpy, although it could have just been the sun in her eyes, a car alarm going off, some hoons doing a burn-out and my Beloved smelling unfamiliar – probably of massage oil. I remember accidentally saying the first few lines of my vows to the minister, Beloved’s Uncle, instead of to Beloved and both of us nearly fluffing up the same line. I remember Uncle having trouble holding the microphone, the vows and trying to place a hand on ours to bless the marriage. I remember being able to sign my name remarkably well and wondering if I was supposed to have my flowers with me as I walked back up the aisle to receive congratulations. But who cares? I was glad not to hold them – those things weighed a tonne and I was officially married!

 

Nearly 6 Months On: Before the Deed

Published on September 23, 2008 in Married Life. 0 Comments

I woke up at 6am, soooo tired. I had been dreaming that I had woken up already and was getting ready, so to do it again was sort of annoying. I did get to bed a bit late but that didn’t really contribute overall too much to my tiredness – I had been exhausted for the last three days. I think it was more mental than anything.

3 of my Bee-maids stayed over-night, keeping me occupied with champagne and dinner. Stinky’s hubby and my dog provided the entertainment by one of them stepping in the only, huuuuuge dog poo in the back yard and the other running full pelt into the screen door and shoving it off its hinges.

Me and three of the Bee-maids took the hairy Airedale for walkies at 6:30am, probably waking up half the neighbourhood with our loud, random conversations. It wasn’t even daylight when we got back home for breakfast. Lil Sis had turned the oven on, ready to cook croissants and was dutifully taking her shower. We had a lovely breakfast of fruit and croissants, all washed down with champagne and orange juice. I have a friend who has to have fruit juice with her champers, no matter how expensive the bottle and I always decry ‘sacrilege’ but I was guilty of Moet and Harvey Fresh OJ…..it was just a little too early and I was a little too wired for straight alcohol.

After breakfast, the waiting around started. I forgot there would be so much free time. Waiting to have a shower, get hair done, get make-up done. And I was last in line for each. My normal hairdresser, was our hair artiste for the day and it was good having him there – it was more relaxed to have someone I know around.  I wouldn’t say that wedding hair is his forte but he did a more than passable job on the very different hairstyles of my bee-maids. Lil Sis had a sorta messy side bun, Stinky had her new Suri Cruise bob professionally blow-dried, NC had a funky chignon with spikey bits out the top and Miss Model had a side pony with ringlets. This was topped off by the professional facial ministrations of Stinky and the ever popular Clinique Extreme Pink lipstick.

About 10 we had 4 very large platters delivered – one with sandwiches, one with fruit, one with sushi and my favourite – one with little cakes. Two of the groomsmen also dropped by to sort out the refreshment eskies for after the ceremony.  We also had the flowers delivered which was interesting. The girl delivered them and by the account of the bee-maids she looked shit scared. When I saw my flowers I knew why -more than half of the lilies were bruised. ‘Aw man’ I whinged as she left, ‘how come MY flowers are wrecked?’….and then I heard the front gate shut. Oops. She musta heard me cos not half an hour later the owner of the shop called saying she would drop by to replace the wrecked flowers. She said the delivery girl was very upset because she had dropped the flowers and didn’t know what to do. Whew – crisis number one averted.

At 12:30 my dad arrived and it was time for everyone to really get ready. It is funny how it is cruisey for a good 5 hours and then all hell breaks lose, with Bee-maids dresses refusing to do up, bras added or discarded, clasps on the outside of the dress instead of the inside, errant fascinator feathers and wayward boobs tamed. By then I was getting highly strung and one Bee-maid copped a mini Bee wobbly cos ‘Are you nervous/Are you okay/You look great!’ was asked one too many times. I’m sorry NC – I was nervous, I was only sorta okay and I suppose I didn’t look too bad!

The photographer arrived at 1ish and chose the sexy Miss Model as his mark for the day….other than poor Stinky who having had him as her wedding photographer, garnered his over-familiar attentions, which involve unwanted physical contact and risqué wise-cracks. Lucky for him he is more than mildly entertaining and a very good photographer. He took a few pics, and my hair was finalised with the fascinator which I think made the outfit and we were pretty much good to go….after a few more pics.

However I didn’t count on having to close up the house and had to screech more than once ‘Can someone please close the bloody blinds!’ I think I may have got a few sideways looks from some very patient Bee-maids. They put up with my crap -it is why they got the job!!

Then it was into the very luxurious Chrysler Limo with the across the road neighbours and the non-born-again-Christians-next-door-neighbours looking on. My last car trip as a single, footloose and fancy-free ‘Miss’.

Creative Ways with Baked Beans and a Cattle Prod

Published on September 22, 2008 in Cranky/Dopey Bitch and Teaching. 1 Comment

Well, I worked today and I am working tomorrow so I can put off my research on ‘creative ways with baked beans’. Cos that would also mean I would have to look up ‘creative ways with air freshener’.  Work today was interesting.  I know I am supposed to be inspiring the youth of today but I remember being a teenager. When we had a relief teacher (substitute teacher for any American readers,  supply teacher if you’re English)  the main goal was to make them cry.  If I thought I was a glorified baby-sitter before, it is even more apparent now.

I took a rather difficult class period 5. This class is made up of the finest young criminals and slackers  year  10 at my school has to offer, with the exception of half a dozen unfortunate students.  Is it bad to want to tell a kid to feel free to wag a period or two? Is it bad to want to punch one of the little treasures in the head?

The problem with kids these days (I rant from my rocking chair, blanket across my knees and a distinct whistle on the s in ‘kids’ and ‘these days’) is that there is no punishment that they really give a shit about.  The stern talking to only works on kids who are generally good.  There is moving them away from their friends (‘Nup. I am not moving’), chucking them out of the room (‘Nup. I  am not going) and then there’s the ‘I will have to go get insert-name-of hopefully-scary-head-of-learning-area-or-deputy’ (which is the equivalent of  ‘Wait till your father gets home!’) The hardened year  10 miscreant  knows you can’t do a thing to touch them.  Today I had a delightful young gentleman who among other things:

1. Catapulted a teddy bear across the room using a large rubber band

2. Road a skateboard around the room

3. Snatched a confiscated basketball from my hands asking ‘what are you gonna do about it?’ and

4. Pelted a ping pong at other students using a paddle made in woodwork

Says a lot about my command of the classroom, eh? The other kids were pretty damn incredulous themselves and trying to make me feel  better said ‘Don’t worry about it Miss – he never usually comes to school anyway.’ The young lad was just making his fortnightly visit to make sure he still gets his welfare payment.

I reckon that the political party who introduces cattle prods in schools as a behaviour management/modification tool will win by a landslide.

I can only dream.  (And my dreams are scented with the sizzle of year 10 flesh – bzzzzzzzzzzt!)

PS: An update on the fitter fur baby fiasco. Well. The ride today started off well. Until Fatso got spooked by a chopped up palm tree waiting patiently on the curb for road-side collection. He bolted. I fell off the bike, grazing my knee for the first time in god knows how long and Sir Fuzzy Butt then  decided he was scared of that weird, noisy falling over bicycle. I had to practically drag him the rest of the way around the route.  *Sigh*

Snippets

Published on September 18, 2008 in Can't be bothered categorising. 0 Comments
  • I didn’t get called into work again today. I think I am being punished for not being available on Monday when I was recovering from my cold. One day off is a relaxing if slightly financially stressful surprise. Two is…well, two is the house is already tidy from the first day off and I don’t want to contemplate weeding or washing the walls.  With relief teaching when you get the call to come in can come at any time. You may know the day before, or you will get an sms anywhere from 6am-9am. So if I don’t know the night before,  the next morning I will get up and get ready regardless. Today was the first time I wasn’t called.  So I got back into bed. Until 12:30.
  • Apparently I do a good Keira Knightley impression. Which I find hard to credit considering I do not have a top lip. And she does. A bit fat ducky top lip which stops her from being able to close her freaking mouth.  Ugh. I loved her in Bend it Like Beckham. And then she gets a top lip and all Hollywood and it’s all down-hill from there.  AND she talks with her bottom teeth.  Anyway.  Aforementioned Keira impression was done on a girly night out with my hip-hop dance class mates. We had a nice meal at Hans and saw Make it Happen.  God. What a piece of uninspired crap. I am usually a sucker for a girly dance movie. This time I was just a sucker.
  • On Tuesday I had to pick up our fur baby from the vet due to an ear infection.  As I pulled off the Graham Farmer Freeway into a slow moving left lane of a double right-turn lane, I decided to hop into the faster right lane.  I peered into my side mirror before the manoeuvre.  Next thing I hear is squealing tyres and in my rear-view mirror I see the car behind me fishtailing wildly as he slams on the brakes, smoke billowing.  I nearly had a heart attack and I may have locked my doors at the next set of lights, fearing a road-rage attack.  Thing is, the guy, the whole time his car is all over the road was straight-faced. Didn’t even flinch. He was Liquid Metal Man in Terminator 2. Cool, calm and impassive.  I mean, he must have been totally speeding to catch me in the split second I saw him miles away in my mirror to nearly violating my innocent car but still. You would expect a couple of F-Bombs dropped and a finger sign or two.
  • I down-loaded the new NKOTB album, The Block yesterday. They have songs with Lady Gaga, Akon, The Pussy Cat Dolls, Ne-Yo and New Edition.  So far, I love it. I mean, I would prefer the sex stuff was down-played , it’s kinda creepy.   But the songs are fun, funky and not totally cringe-worthy.

 

In Another Life

Published on September 15, 2008 in Teaching. 0 Comments

On a bus in London with my husband, on a day tour to Bath, I imagine another life. A life living in Chelsea in a white terraced house.  In this life I am still a teacher, but I am about 25, not 30. I am still me, just with better clothes, a smaller arse and waaaay closer to my dream of becoming a writer.

But I don’t get another life. This is it.

Knock on Wood

Published on September 13, 2008 in Can't be bothered categorising. 0 Comments

Yesterday arvo the Universe said ‘Screw you, with your horse-like constitution, swanning around, a picture of health, while all around you drop like flies. Oh yes – you keep going to boot camp, unimpeded by snot and fevered muscles.  I will show you, you smarmy bitch!’

I feel shit. I did too much ‘Knock on wood, I NEVER get sick’ while colleagues told me of their woes with the dreaded ‘flu’ that is going around. (I dunno why people run around saying it is the flu. I had the flu once. I was still suffering the effects 6 weeks later.)

And let us talk about insult and injury. Hello! It’s Saturday! Thanks a lot Universe. Love you too.