Monthly Archive for July, 2008

Get Over it Already!

Published on July 31, 2008 in New Job and Teaching. 0 Comments

I had a dream last night….as you do. I was waiting at the bus-stop, going to work. Normally in real life at the bus-stop I am alone, but this time I was surrounded by people. There were teachers (all in their mid-life and typically badly dressed) and a few teenagers. The teachers were having a whinge about the usual stuff – the pay, the marking, the lil ferals they have to try and tame, let alone teach. The teenagers were just being themselves, talking crap, giggling, i-pods glued into their earholes. I drank in the comfort of the scene, missing it so much.

As the bus made its way to the train station we had a girl on board, narrating the journey – it seems she was training as a tour bus manager and was practising on Transperth buses. And the next thing I know the bus is going the wrong way. I got my anal retentive knickers in a knot, thinking ‘what the hell is going on? We won’t make it to the train station on time and I won’t get a seat and this just sucks!’ However, amongst all my in-head whinging I stopped and had a look outside the window. We were going past this huge park with a huge golden lake in the middle. And I thought, ‘wow – I totally did not know there was this beautiful lake so near to my house – and I would never have known it unless we had gone the wrong way.’

I think what my brain is trying to tell me, not so subtley I might add, is that sometimes you have to be out of your comfort zone, sometimes you have to go the the wrong way and make mistakes, because when you do, you see and learn things you may not have otherwise.

Woah – subconscious – dude, that is pretty deep.

 

AND it it PMS Week

Published on July 29, 2008 in New Job. 0 Comments

My dear old dad told me once, before starting on my first job at 16: ‘Now remember, even a university professor can get fired from a dish-washing job’ Now I am sure there are a couple of messages in that little pearl of wisdom. But me, I like to personalise everything. I take it as ‘You have brains but no common sense, so don’t be surprised if they take your little black waitressing apron off  you at the end of the night’

Today wasn’t such a good day in the land of the New Job. I thought I was doing okay-ish in the whole scheme of doing-something-for-only-5-weeks-with-no-previous-experience type of deal. I dunno. Turns out not really. And I couldn’t even defend myself cos I was I was too busy trying not to cry (although I did blush copiously – my stop-light face won’t let me hide ANY emotions)

So I took it all on board, tried my arse off for the last hour of the day, waited in the rain, took the freaking longest bloody bus ride ever, drove home from from the gym – where I started the day 12 hours before, got home put my shit down, tried to tell my Beloved the story and just cried. He hugged me, made me dinner and said all the right things.

I am now in my pyjamas, I have eaten a dessert entree of chocolate with a course of ice-cream to follow. I am not sure how I feel. I mean – I haven’t been fired. But I don’t know if in my bosses head it is a matter of ‘when’ not ‘if’. I tell you what though – I am determined not to be a washed out 30 year old teacher who gets fired 5 weeks after her first foray into the real world. Get fucked. It is on. Look out  – I am a lean(ish) mean(ish) recruitment machine. *sniff*

GYL Reckons….

Published on July 28, 2008 in Beloved and Married Life. 0 Comments

…..she should have the monopoly on PMS, considering her husband doesn’t even have a uterus.

(Love you cwanky hubby! Mwah xo)

Musings of a Book Worm

Published on July 27, 2008 in Books n Stuff. 0 Comments

One of my favourite things to do is curl up on my blue couch in front of the window with a cup of tea and get lost in a good book. Unfortunately changed circumstances mean I haven’t had much time to indulge. I still read a lot but it is occurring on the train, with my elbows squeezed firmly to my sides because somehow the train-catching public of Perth don’t know much about personal space and their elbow space always encroaches into mine. Grrr.

All my friends know I am an avid reader.  They all tell me I should buy a bookstore. But I think the aim of a bookstore is to sell the books not read them all. When I was little my mum used to think it was weird that I read so much. I even read the Cornflakes packet at breakfast.

I read about 2 books a week. But the thing is I speed read them. And then if I really liked the book, I will read it again, slowly, savouring it. Trouble is I will often forget what I have and haven’t read and I can’t necessarily hold an in-depth discussion about a book (unless I have just read it) because other than telling you that I really like/hated it – I forget things like the main character’s names.

I don’t read biographies, auto or otherwise. I do read chic-lit, sci-fi, fantasy, young adult fiction (I call it research) classic fiction and whatever is looking good that particular day I walk into Dymocks. So I think it is now time to give you a bit of a list of my faves:

  • Love in the Time of Cholera,  by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Sublime, pure art and his observations about marriage are scarily accurate.
  • Life of Pi, by Yann Martel. Great story about truth and what we want to believe.
  • Eucalyptus, by Murray Bail. A classic fairy-tale set in Australia, it gives us a sense of a rich history.
  • The Number One Ladies Detective Agency series by Alexander McCall Smith. So gentle, wise and funny that I got over the fact that this old, white Scottish man is writing in the voice of a black, African woman.
  •  The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver. Another sublime work, set in deepest Africa.
  • The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, by Anna Brashares. After a shaky, confusing start I grew to absolutely LOVE this series. I try to convert all my friends but they can’t get past the beginning.
  • The Arthur Series, by Kevin Crossley-Holland. A simple, delightful series that shows a boy in the middle ages can have the same issues as teens in our time.
  • The Arrival, by Shaun Tan.   Would you believe a picture book is one of my favourite books of all time? An absolute masterpiece that proves a picture paints a thousand words.  A must-read (or is that see?) for any-one of any age.
  • His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman. The last book made me absolutely bawl. A young adult series that challenged me, made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and made me fall in love.

…..and I think I will stop there because I am looking at my book-shelf finding too many other books and I could be here forever, and I either want a nap or to spend some time on my couch before I have to do some ironing and get ready for my working week. Blah.

So. What do you like to read? Any recommendations for moi?

Veratiserum

Published on July 26, 2008 in Cranky/Dopey Bitch and New Job. 0 Comments

Why, why, why? I ALWAYS do it. It is okay in front of my long-time friends, but when it is people I hardly know……..I can hear myself talking, over-sharing and dribbling crap and the part of my brain that the alcohol hasn’t quite soaked is saying through clenched teeth ’shut-up, shut-up, shut-up!’

Friday night I had drinks with one of my work-mates and two girls who used to work at my new place of employment. It meant I would miss going to the gym in the morning but I was prepared to sacrifice a 5am wake-up to engage in an activity that would sorta cement in my head my new life-path.

It was a pretty hectic day at work. Not the busiest we have had but I am starting to interview so it is new thing to get my head around. I didn’t get a chance to eat much so by the time we got onto our second bottle of Amberley Chenin, I was fairly merry. By nature I am a sharer. Overly honest. I don’t hide anything from anyone really. I don’t see the need. I find people who don’t share a strange kind of creature. So add that part of my personality with a bottle of wine and…yeah. Plus the lovely chicklettes I was boozing with are/were in the same line of work and I think have very similar, open personalities. Which made it very easy to talk about all-sorts. It was fun, funny, sometimes risque, a tad bitchy and a lot of ribald.

And then the next morning I remember what we were chatting about and I just cringe. Not so much because it is embarrassing, it is not even what I said but who I said it to. People, who were really cool, but I don’t even know. They can’t think ‘hmmm, that was a bit of an over-share but meh, that is just her’ I don’t know why I care so much what people think. And why I regret it afterwards – it is just ME. I mean, Hello! It takes a certain person to write a blog, don’t it? I have to embrace my loose-lip-edness.

And anyway. Because of the liquor induced loquaciousness I had some things that have been bothering me at work soothed. Catch-22 – while I know that I am not totally crazy, 3 new people might think I am! 

 

What’s in a Name?

Published on July 23, 2008 in Cranky/Dopey Bitch. 0 Comments

One of Beloved’s motorbike mates had a look at this blog as it was receiving a lot of spam comments and we wanted to know why. Consequently Motorbike Mate and I had a little conversation about some of the stuff I had written.

     ‘So what is it called again?’ asked MM ‘Cranky Bitch?’

Ah – I love it. I reckon we go for an official name change. Cranky Bitch indeed.

Ramblings of the Broken-Hearted

Published on July 22, 2008 in New Job and Teaching. 0 Comments

Today I missed teaching quite a lot. It is like when you end a relationship because you know it isn’t what you want…but once you make the break, all you remember is the good parts. And what makes it worse is when you find out your ex won lotto, or in the case of teachers, gets a long-awaited pay rise.

I think I have learned something about myself, in this new job. I am not meant for work. I am just not really very good at it. The day to day-ness of it all. The power-plays. The fact that I know I am intelligent but I haven’t got the sort of brain that is good at the minutiae of office life. And the fact that I can handle a class room full of adolescents but my bosses intimidate the crap outta me.

I have only had 3 proper jobs in my life. The first as a Kmart chick. I was okay at that. I had good customer service skills. I was friendly and helpful but the bosses didn’t like us uni upstarts and would take any opportunity to make us feel dumb. Next was teaching which I loved except the screwed system which doesn’t favour the willing and now, recruitment. Jury is out so far – it has only been 3 weeks.

But I am not considering taking teaching back. Not yet. I just have to create a new comfort zone instead of crave another. This new job is a challenge and I didn’t just put myself through major upheaval to scurry back with tears and love-poems.

I am determined to stick with this new job, until I feel I am good at it…or if they fire me, whichever comes first. And anyway I dunno what other options I have at this age and stage of my life. I love people, and the daily, myriad interactions. But I am also very solitary and need a lot of alone-time and head-space. Teaching was good for that. 10 weeks on, 2 weeks off. Now, no holidays till next year – I am never gonna finish my book! So unless anyone can find me a job that requires sleeping in, going to the gym, bit of reading, writing, doing lunch, retail therapy and nanna naps,  I am thinking motherhood might be my next port of call. Problem is, if I don’t like that job – too bad, so sad – I will be stuck with it for a very long time. On the up-side it may just be the most fulfilling job yet.

Domestic Bliss

Published on July 14, 2008 in Beloved and Cranky/Dopey Bitch. 0 Comments

I am a list writer and a compulsive planner. To say I think a lot is an understatement. For example, I know what my holiday gym class schedule is going to be, 2 weeks in advance. I am not good with deviations. I will do the most unpalatable task…..if I have sufficient warning so I can psych myself up for it. If my Beloved said ‘Lets go to Bunnings right now!’ I could do it, but a serious amount of whinging would ensue. If he said ‘Hey, lets go to Bunnings next Saturday’…..I would still whinge, but only for a sausage in a bun and a can of Solo.

 If I need to deviate from my schedule and it puts someone else out I will give them ample warning. But no, not my Beloved. ‘Oh – can you take me to work this morning, even though you’re not half ready and I need to leave in 5 minutes?’ Great – so there goes my 4:30 Body Jam class that had been scheduled for weeks. Anal retentive just does not cover it!

 So with all this thinking that goes on in my little head it often drives me crazy that my Beloved totally switches his brain off when it comes to matters of the general, non-financial running of the household.

 Leading up to a weekend my brain will be doing the following:

     ‘Okay, on Thursday I will make a menu for the next week and write a shopping list. On Friday after a long day at work I will go food shopping so I don’t have to drag my crippled Beloved around Coles on Saturday. If something does go awry with the shopping, I’ll make sure that after my 9:30 Body Combat class on Saturday, I pack a change of clothes etc so I can have a shower and do what I need to do, so I don’t have to go home first. When I get home I will do the dishes, clean the cook-top, wipe down all the cupboards, clean the splashback, oven, microwave and fridge (damn steel appliances), clean both toilets and bathrooms, dust the whole house (studies excluded), change the bed-clothes, vacuum the whole house and mop the whole house in the midst of hanging out 4 or so loads of washing. I might get a nap in that afternoon. Sunday is usually pretty cruisey, bringing the washing in but by about 6:30pm I will start ironing the 2 baskets of washing, that contains a dozen business shirts, while watching Ugly Betty and Grey’s Anatomy.’

How does my Beloved’s brain go, leading up to the weekend? I can’t say for sure, but in my mind I think it’d be something like:

     ‘Thank god it is Friday. I am gonna go home, sit on the couch, order a pizza and do absolutely nothing but relax. Saturday morning I will sleep in until Bee gets home from the gym, I’ll have a shower, some leftover pizza, chuck on a DVD and wait till she nags me to help her clean the toilet or some shit – or when steam comes out of her nose – whichever happens first. Sunday I will sleep in again, later if possible. I might fold some washing if nagged the requisite four times, in increasing pitch and volume, and I might unbutton my dozen washed business shirts so Bee can iron them after she has flung them at my head while I have been mucking around on my computer while she has being watching crap on TV.’ 

When it comes to thinking, there is a definite uneven distribution of chores going on with us!

PS: Since writing this we have procured a cleaner. I often ask Beloved if it is too early in the realtionship to tell her I love her. Cos I do. She better not leave me. EVER.

 

 

 

A Dark Knight is Coming

Published on July 13, 2008 in Pop Culture. 1 Comment

You never really realise the accuracy of the phrase ‘jaw-dropping’ until it actually happens and you are sitting there like a moron with your mouth hanging open. My ‘JFK’ moment – when I was in the car, hot, sweaty and light-headed after boot-camp when my morning time favourites, Nathan and Nat said that Heath Ledger was dead. Surely it wasn’t true?

Like a lot of girls, I suspect I fell a little bit in love with Heath in Ten Things I Hate About You. I love the singing scene – the fact he said he did it in one take to make it authentic and the way he pats the security officer who is chasing him, on the bum as he evades him.

I won’t say I have ever been a huge fan, but with him being a Perth boy I have kept an eye on his career. To me he came across as talented, committed to his craft and somewhat arrogant. But who I am to say that? I didn’t know the bloke and I knew only what I knew through the media. But I have heard stories from friends of friends meeting him in foreign countries and he would show these virtual strangers and compatriots a good time. And in light of what some celebrities get up to (are you listening Britney?) his over confidence and water throwing antics were tame. And now he is gone.

Why I feel quite so devastated I do not know.

A sense of ownership, being from Perth may be part of it. Perth is truly the ‘smallest’ city in the world. Six degrees of separation? More like three. Perhaps it is because we are of a similar age and there is a little girl out there who will grow up without her father. All of us strangers have had a chance to grow with him, to ‘know’ him in a limited sense. She never will in a manner that is unhurried and taking it is a given that this person will always be around. Taking someone for granted is silly, but is human – it means we think that they will be constant, always be around. A compliment of sorts.

Perhaps it gives me a sense of my own mortality. And a wondering of how important I really am in the whole scheme of things?

But I am important to many people, just as they are important to me and it is these connections we must cherish, because through choice, force or natural consequences they are sometimes taken away from us.

I imagine myself walking in a straight line along the years of my life. The people who held me when I was a baby – nurses, family, friends, acquaintances – now gone. My line connects to their line. My teachers, school mates, uni friends, work colleagues, doctors, dentists, customers, exes, their families, gym buddies, students.  My mum, my dad, my sis, my husband. We all exist in each others consciousness, never to be erased. My line is connected to thousands of others.

We may never live in the consciousness of millions of people like Heath. We won’t get to pash Jake Gyllenhaal or Heather Graham. It doesn’t make us less important than Heath Ledger (just less lucky!)

 

Bloody Transperth…or if not Transperth, One Obviously Sadistic Bus Driver

Published on July 7, 2008 in Cranky/Dopey Bitch. 0 Comments

You know what? I got cocky. That is the only explanation for it. As you know I started a new job and I was particularly anxious about the catching of public transport. However it has been really good. I have ALWAYS got a seat on the bus/train, they have all run on time and not once have I had to sit next to someone who smells like cat pee. (Although there has been one noisy, slurpy eater and a dozen or so noisy teens, who were rather funny when trying to explain the intricacies of The Matrix to each other. Though I can’t be too mean. They were all of 4 when it came out. And oh, today there was the deadbeat wanker on crutches who yelled at the unassuming Asian guy who accidentally knocked him. Yeah. Cos the bespectacled librarian was looking to rumble by purposefully bumping a shaven-headed betattoed scary looking man with a big, fat mouth)

N e hoo. Today I got to finish at 5:00 and was really looking forward to getting home in ‘it was sorta nearly  daylight only 5 minutes ago’, as opposed to pitch blackness. So I am toddling off the train and I see the connecting bus waiting. I follow the crowd, bleeping through the turnstiles and leg it at a lady-like clip to the bus, with about three or four others heading in the same general direction of said bus. I was not one bus-length away from the bus when it freaking took off. I could not bloody believe it. Blame it on the PMS but I could’ve cried with frustration and the pure wanker-iness of it all.

So I waited 15 minutes for the next bus, thinking of all the mean things I could blog. But meh. I am home, warm, fed and mellow. And that bus-driver, by the pure force of my will, is going to stub his toe in the shower tonight. So there!